Phase out-Phase in

Last night's mood shift was one of the slower ones.  I usually tend to shift from one mood to the next in a matter of hours not a matter of days.  It's what they call "Rapid Cycling".  Heh...and I thought I would never "Cycle" again ... pun ... .

At any rate, with my mind being not so consumed by depressive thoughts...for the moment...it's time I get back to what happened with my doctor's appointment.  And just as a side-note...I don't usually succom to these episodes but the medication is far from perfect so these "Gremlins" tend to slip through from time to time.

Saturdays is the only time I can truely squeeze in a visit to the doctors.  Programmers is one of the rare breed of employee that would go to work with the sniffles and not even complain.  We don't have a choice...work is just too demanding to miss one second, lest you drown in all the back-log.  

But, to get back to the point...  On weekdays, all doctors are accounted for and you have to call ahead and make an appointment.  On Saturdays, the doctors rotate and you are "served" on a first come first serve basis.  I get up early, determined to be first in line and arrive 20 min's before the doctor has even arrived but wouldn't you know it.  There is allready 4 other patients in the que.  I get to the front desk and realise that my normal GP is not on call this weekend...drat, so I had to see his partner.  

Fine, I will give this guy another try...woe is me.  First off, this is the guy that refused to investigate the possibility of Marfan's, even in the face of overwhelming evidence and stated "You just have very big hands"... uhu ... Second off, I had to explain to him every little neuance that he picked up even before getting to the real problem at hand.  

I had to explain that another doctor had diagnosed loss of cartlidge in my wrists (Osteoarthritis) where he had thaught it was a simple "Ganglier" that I should just ignore, thus the wrist braces.  Then, he gasped when he saw the row of circular marks on my stomach/pelvic area.  * Roll Eyes & Sigh *  I told him to just ignore it as it's nothing serious, but he insisted...  So, I had to recount the tale of a motorcar accident I had.  In this accident, I had one of the EMT's check my heart as I was having a lot of fluttering and pain from my chest.  The EMT, subsequently screwed up...and left me with a row of "Electrode" burns on my pelvic area that has since not gone away.

So, enquisition over, he finally started examining the issue at hand.  The inflammation in my throught was gone...thank goodness.  And my chest didn't seem so sensitive yet the lump was still there.  He started prodding and poking and when he prodded to the side of my stomach and my whole body jerked, I could swear I saw his face light up.  "Oh my!  Someone needs their appendix taken out"..."Uhm, it doesn't hurt" I replied.  "Oh..." he said and continued and found the same body jerk on the other side of my stomach.

Eventually, he stated that I seem to have a bit of acid build up and that he was going to give me some medication that would clear it up by Monday.  Fine...let's try that.

I trundled off to the pharmacy and waited while the lady started running the script through the system.  When she frowned and started typing frantically, I interrupted her to state that me and my dad's initials are the same and that she should look at the specific med-aid instead of our personal details.  She shook her head, stating that she found mine but that the med-aid wasn't going to pay.  I told her that it's fine, as my med-aid has been depleted since April of this year and that I would have to pay cash any way.  Nope, she said...it doesn't say "Members benifit exceeded", it's says "Membership suspended"!  What the hey!  Ok, I will have to look into that, I told her...  She gave me a concerned look and pleaded with me to do it as soon as possible, as I wouldn't be covered in case of an emergency.  Truely, that is the first time I have felt sincere concern from a medical professional...and it almost bowled me off my feet.

So here I am, Monday...  The lump is still there and I have no med-aid to pay for another Doc's visit (which is about the only thing they were still paying for)  untill this is resolved.  * Sigh *  I think to my self, is this really worth this effort and grief?  It's not causing any obvious harm, so maybe I will just leave it as is untill it either goes away or worstens.  If it worstens, then fine...I will get back to the doctors, granted my med-aid is sorted.

Oh the fun and joy...  Were I a "normal" person, I wouldn't give two hoots about some lumpy feeling in my throught but with this condition, you never know.  The smallest little thing can turn nasty, bite you in the back side and land you back in ICU for a week.

I wonder sometimes wether this is what most doctors misunderstands.  They assume that if something isn't hurting, it's not a problem.  They don't realise, that if something doesn't feel right, chances are that something is out of whack and even if that something is benign in it self, it can cause a cascade that can impact other areas.  I mean, not even mitral-valve prolapse is a concern in "normal" people, yet in someone with a connective tissue disorder, having it run unchecked, is a death warrent. 

Stub your toe and who knows...you might just wake up with a nose bleed...  Sheesh...