Friday, November 14, 2008

Good things come to thos who wait...

Initially when I started the blog, I mentioned something about a new job offer in the making...

Well, this morning, I signed a 4 month evaluation contract!  Yay!  It toke them long enough to get to this point but I think they were stalling so I would start in Jan, rather then Dec.  But I am sooo relieved!  Yay! Yay! and double Yay! or is that triple Yay?  Heck, counting the initial Yay it could allready be the 4th...and then again, I have just said Yay again a couple of more times...hmmm...  suffice it to say Yay!

The current position is just becoming too much for me to handle with a straight face and with a cool composure.  I am a perfectionist in a weird way...  When it comes to coding, I don't like making compromises, doing guess work or having to remember every single place that code was duplicated due to lazy/bad/poor programming, planning and documentation.  What's more, is I don't like the mentallity that some software houses tend to have, but I don't want to go into that, lest I jinx my self and the next company turns out to be just as bad/rotten.

I am not going to be running around looking for the impossible "perfect" job, but there is a lot of things I just won't comprimise on and I want to get as close to "happy" in a job as I can get...  After all, even tho I feel old as heck, I have to work at the company for as long as I am able to and I am still young.  Getting home miserable, irretated and annoyed by bad bussiness policies and poor standards, is not my idea of living.  We spend so much time at work and I feel a strong urge to be able to say that I take pride in my work and my code... and not that I feel proud about swindling some poor sap out of his hard-earned cash by selling him substandard products.

Now the only hangup is breaking the bad news to my current boss.  I don't have anything against the Company or the people that work there...just the way that they work.

At any rate, this is me saying YAY!  With a somewhat more upbeat post for a change... go figure!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Paranoia v.s. Irresponsible

I decided to take yanub's advice and just check with my opthalmologist about the visual experiences during my flight...

I spoke with him over the phone this morning, and he said he had no idea what would cause what I described but said that because the experience did not persist, there should be no risk or need to investigate further. At this point, I am just resigning to trusting his judgement...but it does bother me a little bit that most sites speaks of increased floaters as a symptom of a possible retinal detachment and he didn't even mention it. The other thing that bothers me, is the fact that even though he outright admits to not knowing what could have caused the streaking, he acts as if tho it does not need further investigation. Hmmm... I guess I am just paranoid due to doctors having missed the MFS diagnosis for so long and all the "Unknown" conditions I have to contend with in my body. Things like the palinopsia that is miraculously cured by the use of anti-epilepsy pills scares me. I still don't know what is causing it, the doctors don't know what is causing it but heck, seeing as the pills are making a closed according to them. I don't know, something about that just makes me very nervous.
It feels like I am walking a tight rope between Paranoia and Irresponsibility. Some people might say I am being paranoid and over sensitive, yet others would say that it would be irresponsible to just ignore it...  

In my view though, I am really not keen on another ghost hunt... It just demoralises me when medical professionals finds nothing wrong, yet there is definately something abnormal happening. Initially, with the palinopsia, I had gone through a barrage of tests, including expensive Brain-MRI's and EEG's just to end up with no answers and having pills shoved down my throught in a ditch effort to get rid of the symptoms ... the problem is still not identified and/or treated,

Uncertainty, is the biggest pain in my life. I hate uncertainty... but, what can you do. Doctors are only humans and they don't always have all the answers and it is far from a life-threatening situation, just a very real irretation.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Flying is fun! - Not -

At this point, I must have left comments all over blog-ville appologising for my ubrupt absence, so here is the full story.

I had to fly down to the coast, on short notice, to try and sort out some issues at one of our clients. First of all, the last time I flew was when I was 10 years old and it was no joy ride...  I was crying all the way from ear-ache, so my memories of flying werent too rose coloroud to begin with.  Second of all, I wasn't sure wether I was even allowed to fly due to my condition.  I had to make a rush phone call to my cardiologist to make sure that it wasn't going to give me problems.  Seeing as it was only an hour and a half's flight, the cardio didn't see any problem with it.  

All in all, it didn't go too badly and most probably could have gone worse.

On boarding, I literally banged my knees every second row of seats.  The isles is just too narrow, especially when trying to carry a bag which keeps throwing you off balance the whole time.  This is scary to me, seeing as I am so scrawny and I just can't imagine how someone with a larger "weight to height ratio" get's through hehe...

Take off is a bit of a white-nuckle thing the first time around, as anxiety rises, but looking out the window does wonders.  If you see what the world outside is doing, your mind doesn't have to race around trying to keep you calm that everything is going smoothly ;D.  I had pinging/stinging ear-aches every 15-odd minutes from equalising but at least nothing half as bad as I could remember having as a kid.

After reaching altitude, the only real issue reared it's head.  I had twice as much floaters running around in front of my vision and my vision was streaky and blurry.  Kinda like when you spill ink in water and it forms these streaks.  I guess that's just the affect of the altitude on my eye pressure and most likely the veigns that I saw, which explained the "root" like structure of the streaks.  These persisted during the whole flight and an hour after landing and did the same on the return flight.  As I don't fly that often, I would like to know, how much this occurs in a "normal" person?  Should I be concerned about it, see an opthalmologist after every flight to check for retinal problems?  I did feel slight grittyness in my eyes during flight, which could be a sign of detachment but seeing as the effects wasn't permanent I supposed I don't really nead to worry about it.

I felt a bit woozy, nausia and faint during most of my stay down at the coast which was more than likely my blood-pressure & VP's acting up.  I really had a sort of "opressive" feeling about me during my stay and when I got back home it was like this huge weight was lifted.  I guess I ain't getting no beach house if that's what I feel like at the coast.  Mind you, even though I haven't flown a lot, I have been to the coast a lot and this is the first time I had felt so "iffy".

The rest of it was just all fun and games...  Reaching up to adjust the air-flow and watch the passenger next to me's expression when my wrist joint popped.  Then, when getting up from my seat after landing ... I don't know wether this was due to the seat or the cabin pressure ... my chest gave a huge "SNACK!!!" sound.  I was laughing all the way out after seeing my fellow passengers reactions to that one!  But honestly, this was the loudest rib-cage pop I have ever had and it literrally felt like my sternum had somehow buckled inwards and popped back out when I had gotten up.

My biggest gripes about the whole affair, is that 1, my GPRS signal for some reason, was really bad, so I couldn't browse >:(  and 2, the weather was way too nasty to even walk on the beach, let alone take a dip.  At least I was able to get a lot done and get these people back on to track and although it is fun watching the fluffy clouds as they go by, I am definately not a fan of flying an airplane at least...  It's just too much of an iffy feeling, in the air and the ground...