Thursday, December 11, 2008

Things we used to do...or wanted to do...

There is so many dreams that gets shatterred from this condition...  I have had a lot that I wanted to do and have been doing, that is now out of reach.  It is strange at times it seems like there is a hand guiding me, blocking my path to things I want to do but which is obviously not meant to be...

Starting with the more "childlike" dreams...

I wanted to be a Fighter pilot/Race car driver

Not possible with poor eye-sight, weak knees and now even less possible due to my heart problems (not to menchion my age hehe)

The more realistic dreams...

I wanted to start doing EPEE (Fencing)

At one stage, I thought the exercise would do my knees good and that my knees were just going through a difficult growth stage.  I have always been fascinated with sword fighting, especially from the dark ages but because sword fighting reinactment was a little too "play acting" for my taste, fencing was the next logical step.  I even signed up for a class, explaining my difficulties with dislocations in the past which the instructor said he could most likely work around and was about to start when I had a horrible dislocation that wiped that dream off the slate for ever.  As a fall back...

I wanted to practice Archery

Next to sword fighting this was another fascination for me...but strangely enough, this too was cut short as I developed problems in my wrists and subsequently was diagnosed with Marfan's

I wanted to grow my musical talent

I have an uncanny talent for music...being able to play songs by just hearing, on the piano and keyboard and I had even started trying my hand at composing.  I would have most likely excelled if I didn't have a problem with theory.  Any theory...wether it is history, economics, brain just can not absorb it.  I can only learn through practical experience.  I can read sheet music but I can't read and play at the same time and I can not learn a piece because of this "theoretical" block in my mind....  To give a good example, my final programming exam results, came down to 36% for Theory but 98% for practical and this echoed throughout my school and college years and still is an issue.  But, as with the Archery, this has been placed on hold yet I still at times beared the pain and kept playing...untill now.  I am getting serious joint instability problems in my right shoulder so for now, this hobby is completely on hold.

So what am I doing now...

R/C Hellicopters

At this point, this is the only hobby that I can do while sitting down and not placing a lot of strain on my wrists and/or shoulder.  Don't get me wrong, even though this is not my first choice, I am enjoying it.  It is taking me longish to get to grips with...but that's the fun in it.  "It's not so much about reaching the destination as it is about the journey it's self".  I can now at least maintain level hovering without the chopper careening out of control and I am slowly starting to turn it in different angles and trying flight...It's much more difficult than what it seems, at least to me, as you not only have to persuade your mind that the controls switch around when flying towards you but you also have the added third dimension of elevation that you need to control.  The helo that I am flying is what is called a "Trainer", so it has dual rotors on top instead of a tail rotor to make it easier to control while learning.  The downside is that it is more suited to indoors flight than outdoors as it is too light to withstand even the slightest of breeze.  Flying indoors creates a unique challenge in that objects are much closer and causes inconsistent flight behaviour due to turbulance bouncing off the objects from the helo's rotors.

Although I am sure that this is most likely a painfull subject for most...what dreams have you had that has been sabotaged by your bodies lack of cooperation...and what do you do instead?


  1. My dream which has been destroyed by my body's lack of co-operation is that of eating lots of pasta and bread, eating pizza from the oven on lazy Sunday afternoons and choosing whatever I like from restaurant menus.

    Wheaty food is my favourite sort - I adore pasta and bread, and used to be content if dinner was pasta with butter on. Now (since turning 25) I cannot eat gluten, so all pasta and bread have to be faked. These are not so nice.

    Granted, that is a fairly pathetic dream - there are others which inspire me much more - but nonetheless it is annoying. Sorry not to have anything more substantial destroyed by my body's limitations ;-) Give me time...

    Many of my dreams have been destroyed by my lack of willingness to work, though. I only actually started to work hard for the first time when I got this job, nearly 5 years ago. Up until that point I did as little work as I could possibly get away with; it could be argued that I did a little less than that. Having realised that I could work hard, though, I studied for and obtained a second degree with a mark I can be satisfied with, and generally work hard towards things I want to achieve.

    Examples of things I failed to achieve through lack of hard work are: being a vet (glad I don't do that now - the hours are not good); being a professional musician (ditto, plus, I suppose, I worry that my joints might not like to practise the appropriate amount, and I still do not think I could mentally cope with enough of it to be capable of earning a living); going to my 1st choice of university (I prefer the second choice now, anyway; it's where I have lived for the past 9 years); getting a graduate-level job on leaving university for the first time. You know, that's all OK. Really, life is good. Especially now I have finished work for the year!

    What do I do instead? I strive a lot. I am currently trying to become an organ builder, and shall be re-applying for a PhD scholarship early next year. I work in administration at the moment, which is not actually the most exciting thing in the world ever, but I have shown that I can do the job well (especially this past week or so - I have achieved massive amounts!).

    Oh, and I eat fake pasta and do a lot of gluten-free cooking. If you ever need a gluten-free recipe, I may just be able to help you out!

  2. Drake, I've been worrying about you. Can you come up for air long enough to wave?

  3. I agree with Yanub. Where are you. Have been lurching your blog, and reading your comments on screw bronze. I hope that you are OK.